Judging New Zealand: Abel Tasman, Arthur’s Pass, Franz Josef’s Glacier & Milford Sound 5

Have you seen the movie “127 Hours”? No? Well I can totally relate with how James Franco’s character wanted to (and did) slice his arm off after he was trapped by a boulder for five days. In fact I wanted to cut off both my arms. I was in excruciating pain…..

Many people have asked us what country was our favorite, what country did we think was the most beautiful, etc. I can tell you right now my heart is still stuck somewhere in the wilderness of South Africa. No where else did I feel so close to life. The animals we saw during safari only had two objectives every single day: find food and not get killed. That’s it.

For Dumpty however, New Zealand was by far his favorite. There are no words to describe how beautiful and perfect (almost too perfect in my opinion) that country was, especially the south island. Lots of travelers in fact skip the north island entirely. I can see why.

Cardona Hotel in Wanaka is one of the oldest hotels in New Zealand

Abel Tasman

According to some blogs and guide books, Abel Tasman was supposed to be the most breathtaking. I disagree. In fact it was my least favorite park. Maybe it has something to do with me wanting to cut my arms off. Dumpty and I were spending way too much money in New Zealand (everything seems overpriced after Thailand) and decided to stay at a hostel. Although there were three bunk beds in our room, we were only sharing the room with this tall skinny blond guy I will call Blondie. Since we didn’t have enough time to hike in the Abel Tasman Park, we decided to canoe instead on the pristine blue ocean waters. We had three hours to canoe at leisure and were told that it would only take us thirty minutes to ride out to the farthest boundary. If you know us, then you must know we are not outdoorsy people and also not good at identifying landmarks–even with a map.

So we kept rowing. And rowing.

We were sure that we didn’t reach the boundary yet and decided to rest at shore. The hot comforting sand was bleach white under my cold feet. Bones of dead birds and fish and broken sea shells were everywhere. It was peaceful (not the bones part). Just as my tired wet body was warming up, Dumpty made us hop back on the canoes. We were running out of time.

So we rowed and rowed and rowed some more.

By the time we made it back, the company we rented the canoes from were packing up to leave. We had canoed for 4 hours! How did that happen? We quickly learned that we went WAY pass the boundary line. I felt a small amount of satisfaction. This whole time I thought we were pathetic for not even making it to the boundary.

That night I lay on the lower bunk and Dumpty was on the upper one. My arms were on fire. I felt like thousands of invisible thick needles were injected deep into my arms. When I lay absolutely still, the pain would subside. If I twitched or moved even a millimeter, the thousand needle pain would return instantaneously. Sleeping was out of the question.

I cried. Yes, I am a wuss. Yes, I am whining. Don’t judge.

Not being able to withstand the pain any longer, I used all my will power to get out of bed to walk to the car for the Advil stored in the trunk. It was 2 am by this point. I lay on the grass to stare up at the stars. I wondered if there were aliens out there. Would they be able to heal the pain? Where they watching me or, worse, laughing at me? Any ways, I eventually made it back to my bed. As I tried my hardest to fall asleep, Blondie kept entering and leaving the room. He also didn’t sleep the whole night. I wanted to pierce him with my invisible needles.

Suffice to say Abel Tasman was my least favorite part of New Zealand. From here it could only get better. Or not.

Franz Josef Glacier

If you’re ever in New Zealand, then do yourself a favor and skip the glaciers. According to a young couple also backpacking through the south island, they strongly advised us that Franz Josef was the only glacier worth seeing. So we took their advice and walked 40 minutes to find…nothing. The path stopped miles away from the glacier and we could hardly see any snow or ice. It was rapidly retreating, as you can see from the 2001 and 2011 pictures here.

I got stuck while trying to climb closer to the waterfall at Franz Josef Glacier. I learned 2 things: not my smartest move and I am not cut out for rock climbing

Franz Josef Glacier

FRANZ JOSEF GLACIER WATERFALL

Now of course we might have had a very different opinion if we actually went hiking on the ice, but we didn’t feel like paying hundreds of dollars to do so. The numerous waterfalls in the surrounding area were awesome though. I got stuck trying to climb closer to one. My short legs just couldn’t find anywhere to step on. Dumpty took way too much pleasure in taking pictures of me yelling for help.

Arthur’s Pass

ARTHUR’S PASS MOUNTAINS

“You shall not pass,” were Gandalf’s famous words as he blocks the path from the fire spurting demon, Balrog. Well Arthur’s Pass had no such demons or any connection with the Lord of the Rings, but I just couldn’t help myself. I was super weary of hiking in Arthur’s Pass for two reasons: I was still traumatized from the 4 hour canoe trip and there were several warning signs at the Arthur’s Pass information center about people getting lost and never being found….

We had some of our best hikes in Arthur’s Pass. Despite the wind and cold, the Devils Punchbowl waterfall, Dobson’s Nature Walk and the Bridal Veil were the perfect difficulty level and duration. I got completely lost in my mind walking through waterfalls, snow-capped mountains, valleys, rivers and the forest. Time flew by. I wondered why none of the LOTR scenes took place here. The beauty of Arthur’s Pass was its numerous walking trails to fit everyone’s level. You could do short walk tracks (1-2 hours), half-day walks (3-4 hours), day walks (4-6 hours), and mountain biking.

And yes I did use a fallen branch as a walking stick, blocked Dumpty’s way and bellowed that cheesy Gandalf line. He was not impressed. Only got an eye roll.

Don’t judge.

Milford Sound

Milford Sound in the morning

“That will be $632 for one night. The shared room has four beds. Would you like to confirm the booking?” the rep from Real Journeys asked us. I looked at Dumpty dazed. $632!!!

F$@%!

Was it worth paying hundreds of dollars to take a long bus ride to the harbor in order to spend one night on a cruise ship that will take us around Milford Sound? The only other choice was driving several hours to Te Anau and then catching a bus from there.

“F the budget. Lets just do it,” said Dumpty.

Pics taken during drive up to Milford Sound:

After we made the non-refundable reservation, I kept second-guessing our decision. I mean seriously, would I die if I never see a fjord in my life? We could fly to another country with that money.

Pics of Milford Sound–even these don’t do it justice:

So was it worth it? Would it suffice to say that I think parts of heaven look Milford Sound? I can still hear the waterfall pounding the ocean and feel my tight grip on the bars. My loose hair looked like it was having a seizure from the wind.  We could see skinny tall waterfalls and mountain peaks above huge lazy clouds gliding low across the bay. I am grateful to have witnessed such raw natural beauty. And to top it all off we ended up getting private rooms. Still to this day I think Milford Sound is one of the most beautiful spot on earth. It was worth every penny.

This is just a snapshot of the South Island of New Zealand. Perhaps Dumpty is right, it might be one of the most amazing and beautiful places in the world. I would go back to Milford Sound in a heart beat. Just don’t try to canoe there and avoid tall skinny blond guys.